Is it permissible to offer two meals for a man and one meal for a woman, while taking a specific amount of money from the tribe members upon the death of one of them?

The customs of serving food and hospitality at mourning gatherings are an innovation (bid'ah) and should be abandoned, though it is permissible to prepare food for the deceased's family without extravagance; this is based on the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, who said: "Prepare food for Ja'far's family, for a matter has come to them that occupies them." There is no harm in giving charity on behalf of the deceased, whether food or anything else.