Are Muslim scholars correct in their strictness and in restricting people, and in their exaggeration in prohibiting things under the pretext of "blocking the means" (sadd al-dhara'i'), and in preferring a boy for imamate over a mature, sane woman, while overlooking the major sins of men and exaggerating the minor shortcomings of women, or has this strictness pushed some towards secularism?

What you mentioned about criticizing scholars, claiming they are overly strict under the pretext of 'sadd al-dhara'i' (blocking the means to evil), opening the door to secularism, and denying women their rights, is an injustice to them. Scholars must be revered and honored. As for your assertion that they oppress women, it is a fabrication. Throughout Islamic history, women have been scholars, devout worshippers, and mujahidat (those who strive in the way of Allah). No scholar has ever said that a woman is only fit for bed. Furthermore, a woman's unsuitability to lead men in prayer is a clear legal ruling with evident wisdom, and it is incumbent upon a Muslim to submit to it.