Does weeping over the deceased harm them, is it forbidden, how can one honor their deceased mother and benefit her after her death, and is wishing to remove the earth from her grave to see her forbidden?

Crying without a sound is permissible by consensus, and the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did it and described it as mercy. What is forbidden is wailing and lamenting, or crying accompanied by them. The crying for which one is punished is crying with a sound and wailing. The majority of scholars believe that the deceased is punished if they enjoined crying and wailing over them after their death, or if wailing was their custom. It is recommended to supplicate for the deceased mother for forgiveness, to give ongoing charity on her behalf, to pray for her, to seek forgiveness for her, to fulfill her promises, to honor her friends, and to maintain kinship ties. As for removing the soil from the grave after burial, it is not permissible. Merely wishing to remove the soil incurs no blame.