Is a son considered disobedient to his father if he refuses to return to live with his family due to problems that occur between his father and his wife, especially upon hearing insults directed at the father?

If your father insists on your staying with him because he needs you, then you are not permitted to disobey him. You should advise your stepmother in the best manner and be patient with her harm. However, if his insistence is not due to his need for you, then you are not obligated to obey him, but it is a highly recommended act to stay with him, so long as no significant harm befalls you.