Is a man to marry a second wife and leave his first wife in limbo, or divorce her due to her disobedience and then marry a second, knowing that she does not want a divorce nor to return unless he abandons the idea of a second marriage?

If your marriage to a second wife would lead to the divorce of the first, the advice is to preserve the first wife, unless there are clear reasons necessitating marriage to a second. If you marry and the first wife refuses to remain under your marital authority, you have the right to keep her, because the insubordination is from her, and she has the right to return. If she insists on remaining in her family's home, you may divorce her without taking back what you gave her, or asking her to ransom herself with money (khul'). Do not resort to this unless you are unable to reach an understanding. We advise the wife to fear Allah and return to her husband; for his desire to marry does not permit her to abandon his home and disobey his obedience, and she should remember the saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning."