Is it permissible for a woman who has been irrevocably divorced to chat with her ex-husband in a way that incites lust, knowing that she has neither seen him nor been touched by him since the divorce? And is it permissible for her to return to him despite her family's refusal?

If the divorce issued by the court is irrevocable (bain) – for example, if the judge issued it, or if it was a khul‘ [divorce at the wife's instance] – then you are a stranger to your ex-husband. He is not permitted to speak to you except out of necessity, or to contract a new marriage with you under its conditions. However, if the divorce was revocable (raj‘i) – by order of the judge without compensation – then your husband is permitted to take you back verbally as long as you are within the ‘iddah (waiting period), and the consent of your family or your own consent is not required.