What is the ruling on one who swore an oath to his wife that he would not have intercourse with her for a month, and if he did, she would be divorced, and he said to her: "You are like my mother and my sister," and he did not intend "Dhīhār" (a form of divorce in Islam where the husband declares his wife to be like his mother)?

The question contains three issues:

1. Swearing to abstain from marital relations for a month: This is not considered ila’ (vow of abstinence) by the majority of scholars, because ila’ applies when the period exceeds four months. 2. Conditioning divorce on touching (having intercourse with) the wife: If you have intercourse with her before the month ends, the divorce takes effect. 3. Saying, "You are like my mother and my sister": If this statement was not intended as zihar (injurious assimilation), then it is not zihar according to a group of scholars. However, it is preferable to offer kaffarat zihar (expiation for zihar) to avoid disagreement and clear one's conscience.

We advise exercising reason and seeking wisdom in resolving marital problems, as every problem has its prescribed Islamic solution.