Is the failure to shake hands with non-mahram men and avoiding attendance at weddings that involve musical instruments considered hypocrisy?

Persevering in adherence to the Sharia and refraining from shaking hands with men and listening to musical instruments is the path to happiness in this world and the hereafter. Your sister's description of you as a hypocrite does not harm you; rather, the harm reverts to her. Any harm that befalls you is a tribulation that afflicts those who adhere to the path of truth, so be patient. As for your fear of hypocrisy, it is a good thing, but you must couple this fear with having a good opinion of Allah and hoping for His mercy, for fear and hope must be combined on the path of journeying to Allah.