Is it permissible for a husband to abandon his wife in bed for the sake of caring for his mother, and is it religiously permissible for him to destroy himself with debts and for his wife to collapse physically and psychologically due to his mother's presence?

It is preferable for the husband to sleep with his wife in her bed unless there is an excuse, but it is not obligatory for him if he has fulfilled her rights regarding division of time and intercourse. As for the husband borrowing money to pay for his mother's treatment when he is unable to repay it, he should not do so. Borrowing may even be forbidden if the creditor is unaware of his inability to repay. He should not burden you with serving and caring for his mother, as it is not obligatory for you, and he must combine honoring his mother with treating you kindly.