How can I advise my mother, who adheres to acts of worship but possesses blameworthy qualities in Islam such as backbiting, love of praise, and unforgiveness, and who rejects advice and gets angry with those who oppose her, knowing that she gives a lot in charity and is extravagant in spending?
Filial piety is among the greatest acts of devotion, but it does not mean condoning their mistakes. Rather, one must prevent them from doing what displeases Allah, as Allah the Almighty says: (O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire). Piety is achieved through gentleness and advice given with wisdom and leniency, without harshness or embarrassment. Strive to deter her from slandering people, and from burdening your father with expenses. If she gets angry because you forbid evil, there is no sin upon you, for there is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator. Instead, appease her with what is good and with some gifts. Performing 'Umrah every year is a supererogatory act, not an obligatory one.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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