Is the questioner considered a disobedient child to his mother, who engages in "strange and unacceptable" behaviors, spies on him and his wife, and interferes in his family life, despite his attempts to advise her, and is he sinful for his aversion to her?

If the mother is abusive, the son must be patient with her and treat her kindly, and beware of disobeying her; because being dutiful to her is obligatory even if she treats him badly. The son should dislike her un-Shar'i actions or advise her gently, while avoiding frowning and raising his voice. It is preferable to allocate a separate part of the house for the mother, and the wife has the right to live in a separate dwelling to find her comfort and preserve her privacy.