Is what I am doing correct? And does a divorce pronounced by my tongue take effect if I do not know whether I intended it or intended to threaten? And what should I do, according to Sharia, with this wife?

If the husband pronounces a clear divorce to his wife while being aware and deliberate, his divorce is effective, whether he intended to enact the divorce or to threaten. The occurrence of the divorce does not depend on him referring it to the court. If he divorced her three times or more with a clear pronouncement, she has become irrevocably divorced from him with a major separation. She is not lawful for him until she marries another husband and he consummates the marriage with her, then he divorces her or dies, and her 'iddah (waiting period) expires.

It is not permissible for the wife to leave her husband's house without his permission, except out of necessity. The husband is permitted to dispose of his wealth as he wishes, whether by saving or spending it in permissible ways, as long as he spends it in a reasonable manner. If the wife disobeys her husband and leaves without his permission, except out of necessity, she is considered disobedient (nashiz).