What is the ruling on a suitor speaking with his irreligious fiancée to persuade her to become religious? Is it permissible for him to speak with her gently or to inform her that he will not speak with her now because they are not married, and that religious commitment does not mean abstaining from life or enjoyment?
The suitor is a stranger to his fiancée until he marries her. Therefore, he must treat her on this basis and not speak to her except when necessary, while observing the Sharia guidelines and avoiding temptation. He is permitted to say phrases to her that indicate his good choice of her. The suitor must choose a woman of religious commitment and good character, inquire about her from trustworthy people, and then seek Allah’s guidance (istikharah) regarding his marriage to her.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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