Is it permissible for a wife to masturbate to release her sexual urges due to her husband's neglect of the marital relationship, and is it permissible for her to seek a divorce, even with children, for the same reason?

Masturbation is not permissible except out of necessity. If the husband is remiss in marital intimacy, the wife should discuss the matter with him, clarifying her right to intimacy within the bounds of his capacity and her need. Part of perfect marital conduct is for the husband to be a comforting companion to his wife with kind words and to fulfill her emotional needs. The wife should understand the reasons for her husband's lukewarmness and address any shortcomings on her part regarding his rights, while overlooking his lapses, adorning herself for him, and cooperating with him in obedience to Allah. Divorce should not be resorted to except after all means of reconciliation have failed.