Are the "dinner monies" that came in the name of my deceased wife and her minor children to be used to pay off the deceased's debts, or are they an exclusive right for them, or is there another disposition for them?

If the money is a grant from the state not due to the deceased, then it belongs to the two wives and their son. However, if it was due to the deceased from the state (for example, if it was deducted from his salary during his lifetime), then it is considered part of his estate, and his debts must be paid from it before the remainder is distributed among the heirs. The most probable scenario is that it is a grant from the state, in which case it belongs to those whom the donor specified.