Is my failure to honor my parents considered disobedience (ʿuqūq), despite his (my father's) oath not to spend on me in university, even though he possesses the money?
University tuition fees are not an obligatory expense upon the father; rather, they are a donation and a benevolent act. Therefore, refraining from paying them is not considered an act of disobedience (ʿuqūq). Even if the father wrongs or withholds a right, it is not permissible to disobey him, and his right does not fall. Al-Bukhārī dedicated a chapter titled "Chapter: Filial Piety Towards One's Parents, Even If They Wrong." Disobeying parents is among the greatest major sins. Therefore, the questioner must repent to Allah, apologize to his father, and be diligent in showing him piety and kindness, for the Lord’s pleasure is in the father’s pleasure, and His displeasure is in the father’s displeasure.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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