Are the thoughts and situations in which divorce occurs to the questioner, without him desiring it, considered a divorce?

Having thoughts of divorce in your mind during the situations you mentioned does not constitute divorce, and there is no need to worry. Divorce does not occur unless it is uttered verbally with the intention of bringing it about. So, if one merely intends it in the heart, or utters it without the intention of bringing it about, then nothing is binding upon him. One must distance themselves from these whispers (waswas), for they are from the steps of Satan, and persistence in them may harm one's religion and worldly life.