Is saying, "By talaq, I told her to be quiet" considered a divorce or an oath, if said in a state of anger, with doubt as to whether the action (telling the daughter to be quiet) actually occurred?

If you doubt whether the condition upon which the divorce was suspended has occurred, then the divorce does not take place, because the original state is the continuation of the marital bond, and the breaking of the oath is not certain. Al-Khiraqi said: "The certainty of marriage is not removed by the doubt of divorce." Sheikh 'Ulaish said: "And he is not ordered to separate if the husband doubts and does not know the answer to whether he divorced his wife, meaning whether what necessitates divorce occurred from him or not." As for the view of Ibn Taymiyyah, he believes that an expiation for breaking an oath (kaffarat yamin) is required if the intention behind swearing by divorce or suspending it was to threaten or prevent, not to effect a divorce.