Is it permissible for a young man to propose marriage to a girl by giving her a paper containing his information to deliver to her guardian, and is it permissible for the girl to communicate with the young man if her guardian does not respond?
The action of a young man giving a paper to a girl to find out if she is married is permissible if it is for the purpose of proposing marriage and does not transgress the limits of Islamic law. It is permissible for a man and a woman to offer themselves for marriage, and it is permissible for them to communicate directly through speech or messages for the purpose of proposing marriage, while adhering to Islamic guidelines and being cautious of temptation. The best way to search for a righteous wife is to inquire about her conduct from trustworthy individuals who have associated with her, then to approach her guardian, and to perform Istikhara (prayer for guidance). The girl's statement that she did not send the message, even though she did, is considered a lie, but she might have an excuse by using ma'arid (ambiguous statements that are technically true but convey a different impression).
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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