Is it permissible to reject a suitor who is religious, well-mannered, a hafiz of the Quran, and knowledgeable in its recitations, for a reason related to his mother and the fear of her future control over one's life, especially after the outcome of Salat al-Istikhara remains unclear?
The most important considerations for a woman when someone proposes to her are his religion and character, for the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "If someone whose religion and character you approve comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulation on earth and widespread corruption." Since the suitor's mother refuses his marriage to you, there is no blame upon you for rejecting the marriage to him, as such a marriage might be prone to misery and failure. It is not permissible for the suitor to marry you without his mother's consent, because obeying her is obligatory upon him. The command mentioned in the aforementioned hadith is not for obligation but for strong recommendation. The fact that the suitor's father is a driver is not a legitimate reason to refuse to marry him. We advise you to pray to Allah the Almighty to decree for you what is good, to perform Istikhara, and to be content with what Allah decrees for you.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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