Do the events that transpired with you constitute doubts about the occurrence of divorce, or an actual divorce, in the case where you uttered words of divorce without certain recollection, and lived with your wife for a year thereafter?

We ask Allah to grant you a swift recovery from the whispers and doubts you are experiencing, and we advise you to disregard them. The divorce pronounced by a person suffering from obsessive thoughts (waswas) does not take effect unless he genuinely intends and wills it while in a state of tranquility and mental stability, because he is in the position of someone under duress. If you conditioned a divorce upon something and then broke your condition, and someone you trust issued a fatwa (religious ruling) allowing you to offer an expiation for an oath (kaffarat yamin), then you may follow it. Doubt about uttering the divorce and imagining its occurrence does not necessitate anything, because the original state is the continuation of the marital bond. And your statement "you might reconcile with your wife" does not constitute a divorce.