Which is better for my wife: to live with my family or with her family, knowing that my family lives abroad and only visits in the summer, so that I can protect her from excessive visits?

If a husband is absent from his wife, it is preferable for him to permit her to stay with her family, especially if that is more safeguarding and modest for her. The husband must gently appease his mother and explain the benefit of his wife staying with her family during his absence. If she insists [otherwise], he is not obligated to obey her in that, because obedience is only in what is right, but he must honor her and treat her kindly.