Should the questioner follow the madhhab that aligns with her mother's command concerning matters on which scholars have differed, or should she follow the evidence she knows, even if it contradicts her mother's command?

If it becomes clear to a servant that something is obligatory or forbidden based on Shar'i evidence and a reliable saying from a scholar, then he cannot obey anyone in opposition to that, as Allah, the Most High, says: "O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in outcome." (An-Nisa: 59), and as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "There is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator," and "Obedience is only in what is good (Ma'ruf)."

As for anything other than that, there is no harm in obeying the mother or others whom we are commanded to obey and treat kindly, as long as it is within the servant's capability and ability, and does not cause him harm. For all obedience to the ruler, or parents, or the husband, is restricted to what is good (Ma'ruf). If their obligatory obedience conflicts with a supererogatory act, then their obedience takes precedence. Also, obedience is within the limits of one's capacity and ability.

The questioner must be reminded of the immense right of her mother and the necessity of being dutiful to her and treating her kindly, while adhering to good manners when advising her, teaching her, and being patient in doing so.