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What is the ruling on not contacting one's mother and wife after falsely saying: "By divorce, I will not contact you again, unless you contact me"?

1 min readAlso available in العربية

Whoever said, "I swear by divorce," but had not actually sworn, the preponderant view is that he does not become a swearer and does not become liable for breaking an oath regarding what he claimed to have sworn upon. This is the view adopted by Ibn Qudamah, Al-Qadi, and Abu Al-Khattab, and it is one narration from Ahmad. Abu Bakr chose the view that he is bound by what he affirmed in judgment. Another narration from Ahmad states that divorce becomes binding upon him, and it reverts to his intention. Al-Qadi explained this as being in the context of judgment or if he intended divorce thereby. If you had not contacted your family before they contacted you, then your divorce does not occur. You must repent to Allah from lying if you intended it. The right of the mother is immense, and she must be addressed with politeness and gentleness. It is not permissible to abandon her or mistreat her.

Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026

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