Is it permissible not to greet or forgive friends who caused deep psychological harm and hurtful words, knowing that they are backbiters and do not learn from forgiveness?

It is permissible to abandon people of transgression and disobedience, and those whose association causes harm in religious or worldly matters. This is based on the statement of Ibn Abd al-Barr: "The scholars have unanimously agreed that it is not permissible for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three [days], unless he fears that speaking to him and maintaining ties with him would corrupt his religion, or lead to harm for himself in his religion or worldly affairs." This abandonment includes a female friend who speaks hurtful words. If this applies to a disobedient Muslim, then it applies even more so to a non-believer.

The benefit of abandoning disobedient people must be considered. If abandonment is more beneficial, such that it leads to a weakening of evil, then it is legislated. However, if the abandoned person is not deterred by it, or if evil increases, and its benefit is not predominant, then abandonment is not legislated. Thus, reconciliation may be more beneficial for some people, while abandonment is more beneficial for others.

Forgiveness is generally better, but in some cases, refraining from it may be better. One should carefully choose friends, being keen on righteous women who remind one of good and are a help in obedience. They can be found in gatherings of knowledge and goodness.