What is the ruling on scolding or reciprocating the abuse of elders in kind, if the mother commanded not to respect them, while the parents [of the questioner] forbade that and commanded to respect them?

Obeying parents is not obligatory in matters that harm the child. Respect for elders ranges between being obligatory and commendable. Reprimanding and blaming someone who causes harm does not contradict respecting them. One can repel injustice and clarify that not responding may lead to permanent humiliation. Try to explain the situation to your parents and that you respect them without compromising your rights. Seek help from some relatives to advise your parents.