What should a wife do if her husband orders her to shake hands with men, and he insists on it to the point that it might lead to divorce, while she refuses? And what advice should be given to the spouses in this situation?
It is not permissible for a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman, nor is it permissible for a woman to enable him to do so, based on the saying of Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her: "The hand of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman," and his saying, peace and blessings be upon him: "Indeed, I do not shake hands with women," and his saying: "For one of you to be stabbed in his head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him."
A wife is not obligated to obey her husband if he orders her to shake hands with non-mahrams, because there is no obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator. The husband must fear Allah and beware of His wrath, and he should not threaten his wife with divorce.
If the husband insists on his stance and threatens divorce, it is permissible for the wife to shake hands with men from behind a barrier, as this is choosing the lesser of two evils and warding off the greater of two corruptions. She should minimize the possibility of meeting men and strive to advise her husband.
If the husband is not convinced and insists on shaking hands without a barrier, then she should not obey him. She should be patient and seek reward from Allah. If divorce occurs, then she should seek help from righteous people to resolve the dispute and convince the husband to reconsider his position.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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