Is the wife sinful for depriving the father of seeing his daughter and changing her name after divorce, and is the father sinful for that, and should he leave the matter to fate after exhausting all legal and amicable attempts?

The custodian does not have the right to prevent the father from visiting his daughter. The father has the right to see and visit his daughter, and preventing him from doing so is unlawful (haram) because it constitutes prohibited severance of kinship ties. You should continue to pay for your daughter's maintenance, even if by depositing it in court. The mother's refusal to accept it does not nullify the daughter's right to it. You bear no sin after having exerted efforts to maintain kinship ties and when an impediment is placed between you and your daughter.