Must a wife serve her husband in all matters, including banquets, and is her failure to assist him considered disobedience, even if she is tired and has twins and young children?

Scholars have differed on the issue of a wife serving her husband. Some have held that service is not obligatory, while others have maintained that it is obligatory according to what is customary, meaning what is habitually practiced by someone of her status for someone of his status, and this is the most preponderant view. Some have opted for deferring to custom and tradition, so if the wife is accustomed to not serving herself, then the husband is obligated to provide her with a maidservant.

As for serving guests, it is not obligatory for the wife, but it is commendable.

Regarding a man assisting his wife in household matters, it is a sign of excellent companionship, noble character, and a good sunnah, for the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, used to serve in the chores of his family.