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Is refraining from doing things that displease one's parents considered disobedience, even if they are unaware of it, such as tidying a room or trimming nails? And is it obligatory to ask for their approval concerning matters they are unaware of if one suspects it might be an act of disobedience?

1 min readAlso available in العربية

Filial piety and disobedience to parents are grave matters. Filial piety involves delivering every possible good to them and warding off every possible evil from them. Disobedience, on the other hand, is harming them in any way, whether minor or major, whether they forbade it or not, or disobeying their commands and prohibitions, provided that it is not an act of disobedience (to God). Obedience to parents is obligatory in matters that benefit them and do not harm the child, even if they are immoral. This includes tidying the house and trimming nails, as it benefits both the child and the parents. Obedience to them is obligatory outwardly and inwardly, and one is not required to ask them about every action or doubt whether it constitutes disobedience. It is recommended to deal with obsessive thoughts by ignoring them, seeking refuge in Allah, and diligently reciting the Qur’an and remembrances (adhkar).

Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026

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