Is what the questioner feels—thoughts and psychological struggle, and fear of showing off (riya') when motivating others—actual riya' or just obsessive thoughts of riya', especially given her history of obsessive doubts (waswas)?

The cure for obsessive thoughts about fearing showing off (riya') is to completely ignore them and to busy oneself with seeking religious knowledge and inviting people to Allah. A Muslim should act upon what he preaches, but this is not a reason to abandon inviting others to goodness. A Muslim must enjoin good, even if he does not practice it, and forbid evil, even if he commits it; because both are obligations, and abandoning one does not negate the other.