Is the wife entitled to demand a residence separate from her husband's family, and does her right to financial support (nafaqah) lapse if she stays with her family with her husband's consent but then refuses to return?

Your wife has the right to a separate dwelling if she is harmed by living with your family, and your agreement with her father is not considered. If your circumstances do not permit a separate dwelling and she is not harmed by staying with your family, then you should not be burdened with that. The matter can be handled with wisdom and understanding, and by involving her family as mediators. Her travel and stay with her family with your permission and consent is not sinful, and she is entitled to her maintenance and rights. If she refuses to return with you without a legitimate شرعي excuse, then she is disobedient (nashiz) and has no right to maintenance.