Is anal penetration of a menstruating wife forbidden, and what are the consequences, and are oral sex for the husband and masturbation for the wife permissible, especially given the husband's inability to be patient?

A Muslim man is permitted to enjoy his wife in all ways, as long as there is no intercourse in the vagina during menstruation or post-natal bleeding (nifas (definition)), no anal intercourse, and provided the wife is not observing an obligatory fast or in a state of ihram (definition) for Hajj or Umrah (definition). One must be careful not to fall into what is prohibited. If it occurs unintentionally, one must immediately withdraw, and there is no sin. However, if it is done intentionally, the sin is grave, and repentance is obligatory.