Are the thoughts and hallucinations I experienced, along with stopping medication, fleeing the mosque, being unable to work, and engaging in masturbation, a punishment or a test? And is my resolve to perform I'tikaf in the mosque next to my home, abandon masturbation, commit to the mosque, and mix with Muslims, a sincere repentance?

The question is unclear, but we stress the importance of seeking refuge from intrusive thoughts and ignoring them. Fleeing the mosque does not necessitate apostasy, but a Muslim should strive to accustom himself to the mosque, and to be diligent in attending congregational prayers and circles of knowledge. Masturbation is forbidden, but the door to repentance is open, and one who repents from a sin is like one who has no sin. Strive for righteousness by observing the commands and refraining from the prohibitions, for Allah helps those who strive for His sake and guides them to His paths.