Is life with God beautiful or ordinary, and will it be familiar and boring after returning to Him?

The gist of the answer: The fear you feel indicates the presence of faith in your heart. You should turn away from obsessive thoughts and repel them by seeking refuge in Allah and engaging in righteous deeds that increase faith, such as prayer and charity. Perseverance in dhikr (remembrance of Allah), reciting the Quran, and listening to it with humility and contemplation also help in repelling obsessive thoughts, for the Quran is a healing and a mercy. The humility and tranquility you find in your heart when listening to the Quran are a good sign. Do not let Satan find a way to make you despair of Allah's mercy. Balance hope and fear, and have a good opinion of Allah. Your intense hatred of disbelief is a praiseworthy trait that indicates the sweetness of faith, and your resistance to Satan's disbelieving whispers is evidence of clear faith.