What should I do about my family's disrespect towards my husband and their aggression towards him? To what extent is my husband obliged to defend me against them? Is it permissible for me to distance myself further from my family to avoid problems?

One must be dutiful and kind to one's parents, even if they mistreat their daughter. The fundamental principle in dealing with them is maintaining ties and enduring their harm, for in this lies an elevation in status and expiation for sins. As for the husband, defending the oppressed is a communal obligation (fard kifaya), but if the wife believes that the greater good lies in his avoiding harm from her family, then he is not obligated to defend her.