Is what the father did—touching and kissing his daughter, then arousing himself with her—considered a wrong committed against her, or does the sin of not saying "no" fall upon her? And should she confront him about what he did, which continued for years and she has been unable to forget?

What your father did is a grave sin, and you were complicit in it by letting him do that. Therefore, you must repent, seek forgiveness, and perform many good deeds. You must confront your father and tell him that what he did is a grave sin and a violation of God's sanctities, and ask him to repent. If he returns to his actions, be firm with him and prevent him from entering your home. If you meet, do not sit alone with him, and he must never be in seclusion with you. Do not appear before him except in your full lawful attire. I advise you to keep this matter completely secret from your husband. It is not permissible for anyone to assert that God will not forgive a specific person, no matter how great their sin.