What is the criterion for the recognized hardship that permits leniency in not following the desires of parents that cause continuous worry and grief? And is it obligatory to be lenient with oneself regarding non-obligatory commands that cause psychological hardship, or to endure them?

Obeying one's parents is obligatory in matters that benefit them and do not harm the child. However, obedience is not obligatory in choosing food, clothing, academic specialization, or a job. Nevertheless, obeying them in these matters is an act of kindness and righteousness (ihsan and birr). If there is extreme difficulty in doing what they ask, one should speak to them gently and politely to explain your point of view and try to convince them of what is most suitable for you, while building trust and dialogue. Seeking help through supplication (du'a) is important for facilitating matters.