Is a son considered disobedient if he disobeys his parents in matters where obedience is not religiously obligatory, such as not entering the College of Sharia, or not dedicating himself to seeking knowledge, or not fasting the fast of David, or not wearing clothes they dislike, which leads to their anger and sadness, knowing that their commands often stem from their lack of religiosity? And what is meant by Ibn Hajar al-Haytami's statement: "The implication of this is that wherever such annoyance is found – even if it is due to his seeking knowledge, or his asceticism, or other acts of worship – it is obligatory for him to comply? I say: This implication is restricted by what I mentioned: that the condition for such annoyance is that it does not stem merely from foolishness, and the like, as has been established"?
Obeying one's parents is obligatory, but with conditions, including: that it not be in disobedience to Allah, that the parents have a valid purpose, and that no harm or hardship befall the child. The basic principle is the obligation to obey one's parents and to prioritize it over supererogatory acts. However, the ruling varies according to circumstances. If the parents' prohibition of their child from religious practice and performing supererogatory acts stems from their weak faith and ignorance, then obedience is not obligatory at that time, and their anger should not be heeded. The point is that the parents must have a valid purpose for their prohibition or a legitimate justification. The child should strive to please their parents by showing affection and kindness to persuade them.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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