How can one reconcile religious commitment with infatuation with women, given the inability to marry for financial reasons, and the vow never to forgive whoever caused this infatuation?
Marriage is the best way to satisfy one's natural urges. Through it, the body calms down, the soul finds peace, and the limbs are restrained from unlawful acts, in accordance with His, the Almighty's, saying: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them" (Ar-Rum: 21).
Marriage may become obligatory for whoever is able to afford it, whose soul yearns for it, and who fears fornication. There is no disagreement regarding the obligation of marriage for such a person. If one is unable to provide, then he should practice chastity, based on His, the Almighty's, saying: "And let those who find not the means for marriage keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them from His bounty" (An-Nur: 33).
If marriage is not possible, one should fast frequently, as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "O young people, whoever among you can afford to marry, let him do so, for it helps lower the gaze and guard one's chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him."
Therefore, the questioner must fear Allah and marry. If he is unable to do so, then he should fast and occupy himself with other matters such as studying, reading, and exercising, to reduce desire until Allah facilitates marriage for him.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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