What is the ruling on inserting a finger into the anus to clean it during istinja’ from defecation, and its effect on the vagina if contaminated water transfers to it, and does impurity transfer to bedding? And what is the ruling on a mother cleaning her eight-year-old daughter, and must she wash herself, or should she be left to learn even if she does not clean herself well, and is it necessary to wash the anal opening while it is closed or by opening it?

"The obsessive whispers (waswas) have reached a great extent with you, and you must completely disregard these whispers and pay no attention to any of them. Do not be overly meticulous in istinja' (washing after defecation or urination); rather, wash only the outer part of the anus until it becomes rough as it was, and do not inspect it afterwards. Do not wash the front part (vagina) [unnecessarily], and do not imagine the spread of impurity. If you wipe with a tissue instead of water, the criterion is that the last tissue you wipe with should come out with no trace of impurity on it. Do not pay attention to any whispers that may come to you after this. If you are certain that the bed has been soiled with impurity from madhi (prostatic/vaginal fluid), then it is sufficient to sprinkle it with water. If it is soiled with semen or vaginal discharge, it does not become impure thereby, as these are pure according to the preponderant opinion. If you doubt whether impurity has affected the bed or not, you are not required to purify it. Teach your daughter the correct way of istinja', which is merely washing the outer part of the anus. Do not be obsessive about her impurity or the transfer of impurity from her to what she sits on, for the transfer of impurity is not ruled by mere doubt. The religion of Allah is ease, so abandon these whispers and pay them no attention."