What is meant by "prevailing custom" in the fatwas that permit kissing one's wife after the marriage contract and before consummation? Does it refer to common habits and dispositions, or to conditions agreed upon between the husband and the wife's family?
Once a valid legal contract is concluded, the woman becomes a wife, and the husband is permitted to do with her what a husband is permitted to do with his wife, including privacy, intimacy, and other things. This permissibility is not conditioned on holding a wedding ceremony or paying the dowry. It is not permissible to prevent the husband from his wife after the contract, unless the immediate dowry has not been paid. It is permissible to agree to delay the consummation after the contract for a period of time, and it is obligatory to fulfill this agreement, based on the saying of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "The conditions most worthy of fulfillment are those by which you make intimate relations lawful." Customs and traditions must be observed in this regard, because what is known by custom is like what is stipulated as a condition. So, if custom dictates that the husband should not associate with his wife before announcing the marriage, then this must be observed. This agreement or custom does not contradict the Sharia; rather, it delays enjoyment until the wedding and announcement take place, out of consideration for the feelings of the wife's family and fear of a pregnancy occurring before the wedding and the embarrassment that would result if the husband were to die or the contract were to be annulled.
Summarized from the full answer at Ftawy · reviewed Sep 2, 2026
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