Does the husband's statement to his wife: "Consider yourself divorced if you ever speak about my family again," constitute a divorce, especially given that he had previously divorced her twice, and does the divorce take effect if the wife speaks about the husband's family in his absence without his knowledge?

The fatwa (definition) we adhere to is that the husband's statement to his wife, "Consider yourself divorced," is a kinayah (an ambiguous expression), and divorce does not occur by it unless the husband intends it.

This divorce is contingent upon the questioner's mother speaking about her father's family in his absence. If that happens, then the divorce occurs if the husband intended it.

If the husband did not intend divorce, then nothing is binding upon him. Intention has an effect on an oath.

The spouses should avoid disputes that could lead to divorce and the dispersion of the family.