Is it permissible for the husband to withhold maintenance from his wife or to demand that his wife return the dowry after consummating the marriage, if he has not provided her with a home, claiming illness and inability to be fair among wives, while the husband was aware of his illness before the marriage, and is it advisable to speak with the husband's father to resolve the issue amicably instead of resorting to the judiciary?

Since you have demanded your husband to consummate the marriage, you are entitled to maintenance from him according to what is customary, and it is not permissible for him to abstain from it without an excuse. It is advisable to discuss the matter with him and clarify that his abstaining from maintenance and providing a dwelling, and his failure to be just among his wives, is an impermissible injustice. If he responds positively, then praise be to Allah. Otherwise, let wise people intervene to judge between you. If that does not help, weigh the harm of divorce against the harm of remaining in this situation, and choose the lesser of the two harms. If you choose divorce, he has no right to reclaim the dowry. As for your conversation with his father, ask someone knowledgeable about it, consult those who offer good advice, and seek Allah's guidance in everything you intend to do.