Is a pronouncement of divorce counted merely by the husband's contacting a lawyer to request a divorce without the wife's knowledge, if that was a reaction to problems and his intention was not an actual divorce to preserve the family?

Your communication with the lawyer regarding divorce falls into three categories:

First: If you say to him: "I want to divorce my wife." This does not effect a divorce.

Second: If you say to him: "I have divorced my wife," and you ask him to document the divorce. In this case, the divorce takes effect even if you did not intend to divorce, because this is an explicit pronouncement.

Third: If you authorize him to divorce your wife through the judiciary. The divorce takes effect upon the issuance of the judgment. However, if you revoke the authorization by word or deed (such as having sexual intercourse with your wife before the judgment), then the divorce does not take effect.