Is the questioner considered sinful and disobedient to her father because she has not adapted to his harsh nature and violent joking, does not feel love towards him, and does not communicate with him frequently during his absence?

Your heart's feeling of not loving your father is excusable, as it pertains to matters of the heart over which a person has no control. The same applies to your anger towards him due to his actions. However, frowning in his face and the outward actions that result from it constitute disobedience (aqūq), which requires repentance. It is necessary to avoid such behavior when angry to prevent harming him. You must be dutiful to your father, no matter how much he wrongs you, and one of the greatest forms of dutifulness is to pray for his guidance and rectitude. You are not religiously obligated to repeatedly call him unless it is considered a severance of ties by custom.