Is the heart's attachment to a specific person or deed for reassurance during times of hardship, which causes severe depression upon its loss, considered shirk-like attachment? And what is praiseworthy attachment to people and things?

Remembering a relative or an important matter, such as studying, accompanied by feelings of depression when that is lost, is not blameworthy if there is a possibility of help, or if studying provides a distraction from what the person is suffering. One must turn away from obsessive thoughts, as indulging in them makes them more deeply rooted.

It is permissible to directly pursue means and seek help from those who can provide it, while the heart remains attached to Allah Almighty and not to anyone else. The heart's reliance on Allah is obligatory and essential, and it achieves the required reliance (tawakkul). This does not contradict directly pursuing the means that Allah has connected to matters. The reality of tawakkul is what is settled in the heart of knowledge and action. Knowledge is the heart's awareness of Allah's oneness in benefit and harm, and action is the heart's reliance on Allah and trust in Him.

The scholars have forbidden the heart from becoming attached to other than Allah and seeking help from other than Him in bringing benefit or warding off harm, if that is beyond the creature's capability. However, seeking help from a creature in matters where they can assist is permissible, if the heart remains attached to Allah. They considered abstaining from this as extremism in abandoning permissible means. Ibn al-Jawzi mentioned that whoever views tawakkul as cutting off all means is ignorant, for the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, adopted means.

Ibn al-Qayyim says: The servant must do what Allah has commanded him to do and rely on Allah with the reliance of one who believes that all matters are by Allah's will, and that a means neither harms nor benefits except by His permission. So, the servant must adopt the means like one who believes that salvation, success, and attainment can only be through them, and rely on Allah with the reliance of one who believes that they (the means) do not save him nor bring him success. Thus, he dedicates his resolve to fulfilling them with earnestness and diligence, and empties his heart of reliance and dependence on them, purifying his tawakkul and relying solely on Allah. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, combined these two principles in the hadith: "Be keen on what benefits you, and seek help from Allah, and do not be helpless."

Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen divided attachment to other than Allah into three categories: 1. That which negates tawhid at its root: such as the attachment of worshippers of graves to those within them when calamities strike. This is major shirk, which expels one from the religion. 2. That which negates the perfection of tawhid: this is reliance on a valid legitimate means while being oblivious to the Initiator (Allah Almighty), and not directing the heart to Him. This is a type of minor shirk. 3. Attachment to the means merely because it is a means, with primary reliance on Allah: for example, believing that this means is from Allah, and that if Allah willed, He would nullify its effect. This does not negate tawhid, neither in its perfection nor at its root, and there is no sin in it.

Even with valid legitimate means, a person should not attach himself to the means, but rather attach himself to Allah.