How can one deal with a husband who gets angry over the simplest matters, refuses to communicate after his request for intimacy is denied, and reverts to his initial state of anger and aloofness whenever any problem occurs, especially considering there are four children and this problem has persisted for twenty years?

Seeking the husband's رضا (pleasure/satisfaction) is an act of obedience, as a woman's prayer does not ascend beyond her ears if she spends the night while her husband is displeased with her. And if she knew the husband's right, she would not sit down until he finished his food. Likewise, Islam has commanded the man to treat his wife well and gently, "The best of you is the best to his family." If the husband falls short in the wife's right, the wife should not fall short in his right, because "repel evil with that which is better," and "the patient will be given their reward without reckoning." Therefore, one must be patient, seek reward from Allah, and supplicate for his guidance.