Is it considered a divorce if the husband goes to his wife's family home after swearing, "If I go to bring her back, she is divorced," especially after he reconciled with her and sent his brother to bring her back, and would this be counted as the third and final divorce?

There is no issue with the occurrence of divorce in the first and third instances. The issue lies in the second instance: whether it is considered a divorce or not. This depends on the husband's intention when he went to the wife's family home. If his visit was solely to see his son and reconciliation happened by coincidence, then the divorce did not occur. However, if he intended to appease her and bring her back, then the divorce is effective. Based on this, the wife would have been irrevocably divorced from him with a major divorce (baynunah kubra) after the third divorce, and she would not be lawful for him unless she marries another man, he consummates the marriage with her, and then he divorces her or dies and her 'iddah (waiting period) expires. The husband is advised to control himself and not rush into such decisions.