Is what was said out of a desire for evil, or from excessive whispers (waswasah)?

Joking is permissible in principle, but avoiding anything that leads to pessimism is better. What was mentioned in the question contains no Sharia prohibition. Among the means of safety is guarding one's logic and good speech, for the Prophet said: "And I like optimism (al-fa'l)." They said: "What is al-fa'l?" He said: "A good word." As for the saying: "Calamity is tied to speech," it is a weak narration but it has supporting evidence. If the speech was prohibited, then repentance is sufficient to erase the sin, as Allah Almighty said: "And He is the one who accepts repentance from His servants and pardons evil deeds and knows what you do." And the Prophet said: "One who repents from sin is like one who has no sin." So, the questioner should sincerely repent and abandon obsessions.